Travelogue: Finding Clarity in Iceland

I’ve been blessed to visit many incredible places both before and after my trip to Iceland in 2019, but this adventure may always be one of the more important journeys of my life.

It combined so many whirlwind elements that helped to create this most special week; spontaneity, solitude, extreme adventure, and the forging of friendship. It also coincided with two life changing forces- coming out of the darkness of the worst year of my life, and a budding love that would culminate nearly a year later in an engagement and subsequent marriage.

I found clarity in Iceland- a sense of direction that had evaded me no matter how hard I tried to find it. Looking back on it today, I’m thankful for the journey.

If there's one thing I’ll be forever thankful for, it's for my friends calling my bluff as I pontificated over beers at the Torch Bar and Grill one snowy December night, that we ought to just go to Iceland a couple weeks later for the hell of it. Roundtrip nonstop air would cost us only $213 dollars each afterall, which seemed impossible to pass up. There weren’t any laughs nor rolled eyes in response to my pleas. Instead, to my great surprise, “Sure let's go,” and “Let me check my schedule, but I’m down!” 

Four days later on December 16, 2018 (my birthday in fact) we booked our tickets, and off we went into frenzied planning for a trip to take place the first week of January.

For context, 2018 was a rough one for me. I had gone through a divorce and every complication along with it, from figuring out shared custody, to selling a house, to the daily sunken feeling of “What's next?” I had lost my grandmother (a family member most close to me, passing rather suddenly in the spring) and went through another health scare with a parent just days later. A close work colleague had passed away that fall just two days before I was set to visit one final time. 

In spite of these things, I came through it ok, but had it not been for the select few people who were there at every needed moment, I’m not sure I would have. These friends included my oldest from high school, who like clockwork each Thursday would join me out to eat, no questions asked, where we talked about anything and everything. My family, seamlessly allowing me to come back home until I figured out my next steps. Work colleagues, current and former, new and old, who seemed to always be there when I needed them most.

It was these work friends that I found myself with that December evening as we made our plans, excitedly wishing away the past year of challenges and rewarding a fresh start with the gift of wanderlust. Katie and her husband Mike, Emily, Andrea, and Kayla, all of whom at various stages or another had been, or would be, vital to my ability to forge through the most painful of lows.

Alas, some wouldn't be able to drop everything and travel out of the country on 17 days notice (the audacity..) but they certainly would have if they were able, and we all seemed to celebrate my new found happiness at the very least. Four of us would be taking the trip- Katie, Mike, Emily and I.

It would soon be Christmas, and a couple of days afterwards, Katie and Mike invited me down to their house for a holiday gathering. Kayla was there, too. 

Over the past couple of months, Kayla had consumed nearly all of my thoughts. We had worked together, but hadn't crossed paths very often. Various instances of happenstance, however, saw our paths crossing more than ever that fall. A mutual friend of ours would try and play matchmaker. The timing was always just a bit off. At a work event, I summoned the courage to introduce myself formally, gathered my thoughts, turned away for a split second, and saw that she was gone by the time I turned back around.

Fate would settle itself later however, at yet another work event that I hosted, where I later drew her name out of a hat of 250 colleagues, for a raffle prize of football tickets. Rather than just email her congratulations on her winnings, I instead invited her out to lunch. She eagerly accepted, chose the venue, kick starting what would culminate this past year in our marriage.

At Katie and Mike’s that evening, Kayla and I were quite far from marriage. We weren’t even officially “together” by that stage. But after that night, there would never be another that we weren’t together, ever again. 

By New Years we were committed to each other, and only days later, it was time to fly to Iceland. On the surface, not the greatest timing for a new relationship, but it would be on that trip, while thousands of miles away from her, that it reinforced she was what I wanted most in life. It was on that trip that my friends made sure of it; reminding me of the newfound optimism and happiness they hadn't seen in me in months, if ever. It helped things that they knew and enjoyed Kayla, too, but we all knew something special was happening. 

It was in Iceland, that I had the time to assess my life once and for all, realizing the type of people it to be best spent with. Friends, family, relationships. In time, work, career ambitions. Everything was on the table.

A new start, a new year. Things would never be the same. 

From Travelogue Archives- January 2019

The drive to Vik has been the perfect opportunity to do some thinking. Being catapulted so quickly into this new universe of Iceland, in a new year, really helps bring about the change that I’m looking for.

I'm happy that whatever my brain comes up with over the next few days, will have been done anywhere but back at home, where so much needs to change. A complete jettison of everything I once knew has taken place over the past month. Where I lived, people I used to value. Just fragments remain.

Half of those fragments are here. The rest - my family, a couple of other friends, Kayla of course whom I will go crazy about having found myself happier this past week than I’ve ever been in my life and now I’m away from her..

That's about it. That will make for a fine collection of people to build this new life around. 

I’m finding the landscapes to be the absolute most refreshing zen and peace that I need to recalibrate my mind.

Skógafoss is a stunningly beautiful waterfall. We could spend hours staring at it’s endless beauty. It’s waters flow mightily, but it lulls you into a trance.

The rest of the country is straight out of a fairytale.

The ice is so vibrantly blue here that it almost seems out of place. Like it can’t possibly be real. But it’s as real as it gets.

This is one of the first experiences in my life where I truly felt to be at the edge of the earth.

Here I sat, with three of my great friends, having descended underneath a glacier to sit in complete darkness and silence with our headlamps off. A profound moment of solitude down there. Nothing needed to be said. Each of us in our own way, meditating, thinking, pondering.

Emily laid her back against the rocks. Mike held Katie. I put my face to the sky to feel a slight mist or heavy fog that somehow had made its way down there. Moments later, we ascended back to the surface.

A flash of light out of the darkness… a metaphor for everything in my life.

What a morning to capture this shot of Emily, and what a setting at these beaches. Indescribable. As I said when descending underneath the glacier on the volcano - there’s the edge of earth, and then there's Iceland. This seems like another planet.

Wait ‘till you see it - I think it’ll be one of the best shots from the trip. I’m eternally thankful for her stepping barefoot into the Arctic at no warmer than 20 degrees outside.

But I guess that's how you measure your friends.

There’s a calm here that is a bit hard to explain. Time seems to slow down, and even though it's dark most of the time, the days appear to be longer.

Again, it's the perfect peace.

Peace is what I needed this week, and I have found it. We’re closer together than ever here, but there’s such a sense of solitude that we are each able to experience our own calm too.

We’ve been talking quite philosophically on our drives from here to there. It’s inspirational, and has me feeling like I can solve all the worlds problems- at the very least, my own. I think it just shows I’ve been able to think again. Clarity. An overload of fresh air and expanse landscapes.

Everything here seems to be in black, white, and blue. It's an alternate universe. I love it. The people are so friendly and helpful too. Certainly not like anything you’ll find in the states.

The power of a smile is an amazing thing.

I’ve never found a better place to wander than I have here in Reykjavik.

It helps that we're all kind of in the same boat, each of us doing our own thing today after spending the last few days doing everything together. These streets bring something exciting at every turn. The hustle and bustle of any other city but with a vibe I’ve never experienced.

It all seems like another dimension anyways as I’ve mentioned. With only 4 hours of daylight, combined with the lingering jet lag, has thrown off all sense of time and space.

It may be morning here but you'd think it's the dead of night.

It’s 8am and the city is alive, although the sun won’t be up for at least three more hours. We stepped inside a cafe for a quick coffee; one of many unassuming places like it, some without even a sign on the outside. But you can always tell by the open doors, the people shuffling in and out, and the aroma of everything wonderful.

Once inside, you’re still not totally convinced it’s actually not just someone's living room. A record player sits open and inviting. While your friends order coffee, you pull out your translator app and summon the courage to ask the girl knitting in the corner, “Excuse me, are any of these Icelandic artists?” I tried to practice under my breath, it must have come out ok. 

She smiles, though doesn’t say a word. She happily obliges, thumbs through the rack, and pulls out “Sundur” by Pascal Pinon. She sets it to play, smiles once more, sits back down in her chair and resumes her knitting. She bobs her head along to the lyricless “Spider Light” as Emily brings me my coffee.

I’ve never seen a hotdog quite like this. I’m not sure if it’s chocolate, mustard, some sort of sauce made of animal parts or something. It does taste good though. Best not to question it.

You know what else is good? Whale. And the breads and baked goods- to die for.

The dried cod was more of an aquired taste. And rotting fermented shark, is pretty terrible- but not as bad as I figured it would be.

You cannot come here and not be adventurous.

We’ve spent every single night chasing the Aurora Borealis. For hours. And we haven’t seen it yet.

But it doesn’t really matter - it has been the time spent together in excited anticipation looking for something, chasing the unknown, the deep conversations on the way, the bonds forged here, that I’ll remember more than some green lights in the sky.

In its own way, this is the most beautiful building I’ve ever seen. This is one of the most beautiful towns I’ve ever seen. I can’t believe four days have gone by so quickly. We’ve lived every moment to the fullest.

As hard as it is to leave here, I'm excited to be back and settle into this new routine, whatever that is. I've learned so much here to set me on a course going forward. I know we’ll come back here too.

I brought Cameron a volcanic rock, he‘ll love it. I’ll bring him here someday. I’ll bring Kayla, too. All of us together, God willing. And these friends, they’ll come back with us. We’ll all come back here, everyone important in my life, to share in the joy and wonder of the place that helped change everything. 

I think the most exciting part about this journey coming to an end is that I truly believe it is only a prologue to story yet to be written, and when we look back on it all someday, the clarity found in Iceland will make so much sense in explaining the wonderful journey that immediately follows us once we depart from here.